done!

i'm done with my BIG abstract commission! 

it took a lot of work, many, many layers, 

many doubts but it eventually came together! 

i'm super chuffed with the result and it seems my client is too. 

big smile! 

you can see the evolution here and here

tough love

this past weekend 

i took part in Dee Donaldson's 3 day drawing workshop. 

it has taken me a while to gather myself and my thoughts since...

i'm not sure i can put words to it yet but i will give it a try: 

it was amazing, tough, exhausting and enlightening. 

i have never done anything creative or related to art harder than this. 

Dee wasn't asking for pretty drawings with nice shading.

she wanted a rawness, gut responses, she wanted us to dig deeper, to play, 

to rely on sensation rather than thoughts. 

and that was so hard... i wrestled with myself a lot of the time; 

with the conditioned parts of me who wanted to make a pretty but emotionless drawing, 

with the part of me that wanted to do it "right", 

the part of me that wanted to know what was "expected of me". 

my head and thoughts struggled to let go of what i "should" be drawing 

but here and there in the course i had little glimpses of what it is 

like to "respond from my gut", to let it come up from deep inside of me. 

the drawings i share here are the ones where i feel i dropped deeper and trusted that 

i could respond... such an incredible, fleeting feeling. 

i feel that these three days have rocked my arting world 

and will bring many changes to my practice. 

i feel the need to go inward,  to dig deep to hopefully discover what my creative voice really, really

looks like. 

i feel as if i'm standing at a doorway not sure of what is coming just yet. 

on my easel

at the end of last week i hit a wall with my big painting , 

i know it's not finished but i do not know what my next step is. 

so this weekend i decided to take a break and do something else. 

i stood at my easel and played with marks, 

ink, charcoal, pastel... 

i made pages and pages of those little faces, 

some good, some mad.

i'll share some more in the next few days. 

afternoon light

the afternoon light was irresistible in my studio.

i've been working with ink and bamboo sticks, 

quick drawing practices. 

many bad ones and a few interesting ones in between, 

which is what i am looking for... some interesting, unexpected traits i can 

use later in my paintings. 

update...

remember my wild bunch paintings from earlier this year? 

they were part of a group exhibition at the Loading Bay in Durban. 

well... it is a little "cringy" for my ego to admit but none of them sold... 

so i took them back home and left them in the garage for a few months.

i unpacked them and had a good honest look at them yesterday, 

and i do like them, they felt alive and wild. 

it was good to see them with fresh eyes again. 

i'm not sure why they didn't sell, i could come up with many reasons

and excuses but that wouldn't make a difference. 

of course it has been a great learning experience, 

 and i learnt a few good lessons along the way. 

one of them being: "don't take it personally, it is what it is, 

get back up and keep going, keep showing up, keep doing what you love."

oh and i keep repeating to myself, just like on the opening night... 

Brene Brown's mantra: "don't shrink, don't puff up, just stand your sacred ground."

now that i've cleared the air ;) 

i have put my bouquets in my Etsy shop, it's all pretty and updated. 

(PS: my feeling is that they were priced a little too high at the exhibition, so i reduced the prices slightly) 

keeping it small

while my big painting dries 

(see yesterday's post) 

i play with all these smaller marks, 

drawing quick, spontaneous faces... 

experimenting with ink. 

slow...

i'm still busy with these guys... 

to be honest i am not mad about how long it is taking me 

but i am loving the learning curve, 

one layer at a time. 

as you can see above, i am working in thin layers of glazes

(oil paint thinned down with a lot of linseed oil) 

the layers are fairly transparent, i paint them all over

and then wipe down, then it has to dry...

a painfully slow process for an impatient person like me :)

 but i'm managing, i like the marks and what is busy unfolding. 

 learning. 

open. 

experimenting...

pollution

i'm experimenting with these, 

they are oils on boards. 

above is where i started, 

below is where i am now. 

exploring different marks, techniques and tools. 

having no idea where i'm headed but going with it. 

tonight...

tonight is the night of the opening of the group show i am part of... 

it feels so vastly different to my last exhibition, 

i feel pretty calm and here are a few reasons why this might be: 

- it's not a solo exhibition so i don't feel that the spot light will be on me only and that 

feels so much less pressured. 

- this was a quick, impulsive decision, i had 3 weeks from the time i agreed to be part of it

 until the delivery of the paintings. so i had no time to agonise over whether what i had done 

was enough, it just had to happen, without the mind and the gremlins getting too involved. 

- and lastly i had so much fun doing these 8 paintings, i kept rotating them, moving on 

when something didn't work. the movement kept it fresh and interesting for me, 

a bit like dance really, and all that really suits my "busy bee/bit of this bit of that/inquisitive 

personality. 

so all that said, tonight is the night and i'm looking forward to see my mad bunches up on the wall

i also have no idea what to expect... but i will keep reminding myself of  Brené Brown's mantra: 

"don't shrink, don't puff up, just stand your sacred ground."

and i might add: stay open. 

see you on the other side... 

preparing...

now that i finished my flowers and delivered them to the gallery 

it's time to start thinking of what i am going to do next... 

i've prepared some background,  a lot of them i will use for my 

hand studies in oil. 

don't they just look so pretty drying in the sun like that ;)

ready

i am ready, 

all the paintings finished, labeled and priced. 

ready to be delivered to the gallery this week!

i am pleased with the result, 

at first if felt a little tighter than when i just painted flowers 

as an experiment. 

 i just couldn't let go of the fact that they were for an exhibition 

and that felt like pressure. 

eventually my mind surrendered and i was able to take risk, 

play and experiment once again. 

that's when i get the best results i find. 

for example, the painting you see here just wasn't working, i couldn't resolve it 

so i decided to risk adding a bright orange background to it... and it worked! 

good lesson ;) 

oh and can you see my henna tattoo? 

we had a baby blessing ceremony for a precious friend, 

she got a tattoo on her tummy and we all got one on our arms! 

coming up for air...

shew... 

managed to finish 6 of the 8 paintings on time. 

i'm busy taking photo and sending them off to the gallery. 

i've never worked so intensely with such a tight schedule before, 

i'm not great at working under pressure but 

it has been a great learning curve! 

they will be part of a group exhibition at the Loading Bay Gallery in Durban. 

a fantastic new gallery run by super talented artist Grace Kotze. 

i will show you more once they are out into the world! 

flooooowers...

i am knee deep in painting lots of wild bunches...

trying to finish them this week. 

a few details for now, 

more soon! 

this week

i've kept on going with my hand studies this week 

but mostly what i've been immersed in, is flower making ;) 

many different stages shown here, still a long way to go with 

all of them. 

...

it turns out my wild bunches were a hit! 

i sold most of them (there is one more on Etsy) 

and also i've got 

 and an exciting new project 

came out of them...

i was asked to participate in a group show, 

i will give you more detail soon. 

the deadline is very tight so i got going this weekend... 

flowers in the making. 

super thrilled! 

painting with oils

recently i felt i needed some guidance 

and to be pushed technically in my oil painting, 

so i decided to attend Dee Donaldson's weekly classes. 

i was super lucky to get a space and even though it is a big commitment 

(for me ;) ) it feels SO right for where i'm at right now! 

these are hand studies i worked on 

in class on wednesday. 

they are all still in progress and might even stay that way, 

i'm working on getting acquainted with the subject and staying loose. 

let's see where it takes me... 

wild blooms

details 

oh how i loved painting these four mad bunches! 

i put so much emotions and energy into them... 

i can't decide if i prefer the dark or the light background. 

i think they are pretty much done, i will stare at them for a few days 

and decide if i need to add a few little touches. 

they are all 60cm by 40cm (23 by 15 inches)

mixed media on board, mounted and ready to hang. 

i might put them on Etsy soon.