goodbye and thank you!

dear beautiful people, 

during the past 6 years
i've been sharing my explorations, my comings and goings
my fears and doubts, successes and failures 
with you on this blog;
 it has been an amazing, wonderful and meaningful experience. 

and now it is time for something new. 

i feel the need to go inward for a while... 
to listen to my muse's quiet voice, 
to feed my art from the inside. 

i am so grateful to all of you who came along with me on this wonderful journey, 
thank you, thank you, thank you! 

goodbye for now ;) 

with love always



pssst... there is a new website coming soon
so don't go too far. 

done!

i'm done with my BIG abstract commission! 

it took a lot of work, many, many layers, 
many doubts but it eventually came together! 



i'm super chuffed with the result and it seems my client is too. 
big smile! 

you can see the evolution here and here

tough love



this past weekend 
i took part in Dee Donaldson's 3 day drawing workshop. 

it has taken me a while to gather myself and my thoughts since...
i'm not sure i can put words to it yet but i will give it a try: 

it was amazing, tough, exhausting and enlightening. 
i have never done anything creative or related to art harder than this. 



Dee wasn't asking for pretty drawings with nice shading.

she wanted a rawness, gut responses, she wanted us to dig deeper, to play, 
to rely on sensation rather than thoughts. 

and that was so hard... i wrestled with myself a lot of the time; 
with the conditioned parts of me who wanted to make a pretty but emotionless drawing, 
with the part of me that wanted to do it "right", 
the part of me that wanted to know what was "expected of me". 

my head and thoughts struggled to let go of what i "should" be drawing 
but here and there in the course i had little glimpses of what it is 
like to "respond from my gut", to let it come up from deep inside of me. 

the drawings i share here are the ones where i feel i dropped deeper and trusted that 
i could respond... such an incredible, fleeting feeling. 


i feel that these three days have rocked my arting world 
and will bring many changes to my practice. 

i feel the need to go inward,  to dig deep to hopefully discover what my creative voice really, really
looks like. 


i feel as if i'm standing at a doorway not sure of what is coming just yet. 


happy days


today i treated myself to the most gorgeous flowers... 
and tomorrow i'm embarking on a 3 day life drawing course! 

experimenting




i love all these accidental marks. 
working with them brings me such inspiration. 





the unpredictability of the ink takes me to places i would never have discovered.

on my easel

at the end of last week i hit a wall with my big painting 
i know it's not finished but i do not know what my next step is. 

so this weekend i decided to take a break and do something else. 
i stood at my easel and played with marks, 
ink, charcoal, pastel... 

i made pages and pages of those little faces, 
some good, some mad.




i'll share some more in the next few days. 



afternoon light


the afternoon light was irresistible in my studio.

i've been working with ink and bamboo sticks, 
quick drawing practices. 

many bad ones and a few interesting ones in between, 
which is what i am looking for... some interesting, unexpected traits i can 
use later in my paintings. 


update...

remember my wild bunch paintings from earlier this year? 
they were part of a group exhibition at the Loading Bay in Durban. 



well... it is a little "cringy" for my ego to admit but none of them sold... 
so i took them back home and left them in the garage for a few months.

i unpacked them and had a good honest look at them yesterday, 
and i do like them, they felt alive and wild. 
it was good to see them with fresh eyes again. 

i'm not sure why they didn't sell, i could come up with many reasons
and excuses but that wouldn't make a difference. 

of course it has been a great learning experience, 
 and i learnt a few good lessons along the way. 

one of them being: "don't take it personally, it is what it is, 
get back up and keep going, keep showing up, keep doing what you love."

oh and i keep repeating to myself, just like on the opening night... 
Brene Brown's mantra: "don't shrink, don't puff up, just stand your sacred ground."



now that i've cleared the air ;) 

i have put my bouquets in my Etsy shop, it's all pretty and updated. 
(PS: my feeling is that they were priced a little too high at the exhibition, so i reduced the prices slightly) 


going big... continues



this big guy and i have been on a big journey already... 



we still have along way to go! 




some of the marks, close up


 slowly taking shape... 



 i am loving the process! 

keeping it small

while my big painting dries 
(see yesterday's post) 
i play with all these smaller marks, 
drawing quick, spontaneous faces... 


experimenting with ink. 

going big...


this is the biggest canvas i've ever painted on! 
i've been commissioned by a friend to do an abstract painting for her lounge, 
i have never done this before but it felt like an exciting new project 
i took a leap and i said yes! 


 for now this big guy and i are getting to know each other... 
mark making on a big scale. 

practice makes progress


i am loving playing with charcoal at the moment. 



quick practices.


some better than others. 


trying to stay unattached to the outcome
and to say more with less... 





after the storm


this was the ocean yesterday (tuesday) morning. 
it was huge and wild and scary. 
after months of drought we finally had rain, lots and lots of rain. 

i am SO grateful for that rain. 

like all things in life though, it came with its duality. 
at first it was a gentle rain and then it turned into an intense and crazy
downpour causing some damages. 
my heart goes out to the people who have been affected by it.  

nature is spectacular and frightening... 

marionnettes

while in Switzerland i got gifted 
this wonderful book of Paul Klee's Hand Puppets 
(merci Lulu ;) ) 



my creative muscles have been jump started by these puppets, 
and it may be the start of something new... 


i started by recycling an old painting


still very much a work in progress, 
let's see where these puppets take me! 

thirsty

coming from the drought we've been experiencing 
here is South Africa, i arrived in Switzerland feeling
like a thirsty bird ;) 



 i admired every swollen river and stream, 
every forest felt so incredibly lush! 

and i was there early enough for all the wild flowers...



such a treat... 


Picasso immersed

how lucky was i?
this Picasso exhibition had just started at the
"Fondation Pierre Gianadda" when i arrived in Switzerland. 
it is 40km from where my family lives, 
i couldn't miss it! 



i was so incredibly moved to be in a place with so many 
Picasso original paintings, ceramics, etchings and sculptures, 
i did the best i could to soak it all up. 

and since then i've been immersed in everything Picasso! 
i've watched this documentary:



and i'm busy reading this book:



i love that he just created and created like a mad man, 
it feels like he was trying to materialise into art all the ideas he 
had in his head and heart. 
he had so much to express and not enough time... 

it feels like he just went for it without being too concerned 
whether anyone would like it or not. 

in fact after his death they found thousands of artworks
that no one had ever seen before... 

i find all that so, so fascinating! 





close up


i still believe it, fiercely... 
"love is in the details"



Gentianes et Anémones


little mountain miracles, after months under the snow nature sings in so many gifts.