done!

i'm done with my BIG abstract commission! 

it took a lot of work, many, many layers, 

many doubts but it eventually came together! 

i'm super chuffed with the result and it seems my client is too. 

big smile! 

you can see the evolution here and here

tough love

this past weekend 

i took part in Dee Donaldson's 3 day drawing workshop. 

it has taken me a while to gather myself and my thoughts since...

i'm not sure i can put words to it yet but i will give it a try: 

it was amazing, tough, exhausting and enlightening. 

i have never done anything creative or related to art harder than this. 

Dee wasn't asking for pretty drawings with nice shading.

she wanted a rawness, gut responses, she wanted us to dig deeper, to play, 

to rely on sensation rather than thoughts. 

and that was so hard... i wrestled with myself a lot of the time; 

with the conditioned parts of me who wanted to make a pretty but emotionless drawing, 

with the part of me that wanted to do it "right", 

the part of me that wanted to know what was "expected of me". 

my head and thoughts struggled to let go of what i "should" be drawing 

but here and there in the course i had little glimpses of what it is 

like to "respond from my gut", to let it come up from deep inside of me. 

the drawings i share here are the ones where i feel i dropped deeper and trusted that 

i could respond... such an incredible, fleeting feeling. 

i feel that these three days have rocked my arting world 

and will bring many changes to my practice. 

i feel the need to go inward,  to dig deep to hopefully discover what my creative voice really, really

looks like. 

i feel as if i'm standing at a doorway not sure of what is coming just yet. 

happy days

today i treated myself to the most gorgeous flowers... 

and tomorrow i'm embarking on a 3 day life drawing course! 

update...

remember my wild bunch paintings from earlier this year? 

they were part of a group exhibition at the Loading Bay in Durban. 

well... it is a little "cringy" for my ego to admit but none of them sold... 

so i took them back home and left them in the garage for a few months.

i unpacked them and had a good honest look at them yesterday, 

and i do like them, they felt alive and wild. 

it was good to see them with fresh eyes again. 

i'm not sure why they didn't sell, i could come up with many reasons

and excuses but that wouldn't make a difference. 

of course it has been a great learning experience, 

 and i learnt a few good lessons along the way. 

one of them being: "don't take it personally, it is what it is, 

get back up and keep going, keep showing up, keep doing what you love."

oh and i keep repeating to myself, just like on the opening night... 

Brene Brown's mantra: "don't shrink, don't puff up, just stand your sacred ground."

now that i've cleared the air ;) 

i have put my bouquets in my Etsy shop, it's all pretty and updated. 

(PS: my feeling is that they were priced a little too high at the exhibition, so i reduced the prices slightly) 

going big... continues

this big guy and i have been on a big journey already... 

we still have along way to go! 

some of the marks, close up

 slowly taking shape... 

 i am loving the process! 

going big...

this is the biggest canvas i've ever painted on! 

i've been commissioned by a friend to do an abstract painting for her lounge, 

i have never done this before but it felt like an exciting new project 

i took a leap and i said yes! 

 for now this big guy and i are getting to know each other... 

mark making on a big scale. 

sketching

one tool, 

one subject.

keeping it simple 

marionnettes

while in Switzerland i got gifted 

this wonderful book of Paul Klee's Hand Puppets 

(merci Lulu ;) ) 

my creative muscles have been jump started by these puppets, 

and it may be the start of something new... 

i started by recycling an old painting

still very much a work in progress, 

let's see where these puppets take me! 

thirsty

coming from the drought we've been experiencing 

here is South Africa, i arrived in Switzerland feeling

like a thirsty bird ;) 

 i admired every swollen river and stream, 

every forest felt so incredibly lush! 

and i was there early enough for all the wild flowers...

such a treat... 

i'm back

i'm back. i've been back for a little while... 

but i wanted to dwell in my travelling/holiday vibes 

for a little longer. 

this is where i was,

in my mountains with my family... 

they do still feel like my mountains.

so majestic and familiar.

i guess ones roots always remain, strong. 

Nendaz, Switzerland 

precious times with special people... 

grateful! 

bzzzz...

i'm still experimenting with my drawing, 

i will be for a long time. 

here is the beginning of what is meant to be a bumble bee

more like a fly in the first attempt... 

more of a bumble bee this time

i am loving drawing something else than a face, 

somehow i feel freer doing it, 

not as compelled to put in all the details.

learning

it seems i can finally call these two paintings done! 

i have been working on them for a long time,

they are oil on board so they do take a long time to dry 

but also i've been experimenting with a lot of different layers 

and techniques on them. 

not my usual way to work but i have loved experimenting, 

learning new things and most of all, 

staying with it, as uncomfortable as it was at times... 

it's been a fantastic practice and i hope i can take a lot 

of what i've learnt forward into my next paintings. 

transition...

i am not sure where i am heading with my art...

i'm in transition, not here not there. 

but i'm making marks. 

surely that is good enough? 

slow down...

our days are getting shorter here, 

and the weather beautiful and cooler. 

it is inspiring me to slow down, 

take time to contemplate, cozy up at home.

i'm knitting, my second beanie now, 

following these instructions. 

below you can see Pax modelling my first one! 

i have also been painting and drawing, 

more because i feel i "should' than because i feel like it... 

and none of what i've done is working.

so i go back to knitting, giving myself permission to take a small break.

and i have been listening  and loving these podcasts, 

reading and loving this article,

loving Flora's tips, tricks and reminders. 

happy cozy weekend beautiful people! 

open...

i was asked by a friend to decorate his surfboard...

i thought it could be interesting to give it a try. 

he gave me a few ideas of what he had in mind.

it needed to have some kind of black and white stripes to be... 

shark repellent! 

he is going on a trip and is a little concerned about the very sharky waters.

it has been said that the sharks don't like stripes, 

sea snakes and other ocean creatures use is as defence, 

i certainly hope my lady helps keeping them away. 

below is the finished drawing, 

i did it with the Posca paint pens and hopefully it will be steadfast in the salt water. 

it wasn't easy to draw with a very limited possibility to do some shading, 

which gives it more of a graphic feel. 

something new, something different... staying open. 

random thoughts on a monday morning...

despite the fact that i have lived in the 

southern hemisphere for nearly 15 years now, 

the opposite seasons still confuses my brain... 

possibly also because we don't have radical seasons changes 

here on the Dolphin Coast but 

i seem to constantly have to remind myself that, yes it is May 

and no it is not spring, it is autumn. 

to add to the confusion we can buy tulips here at the moment?

i'm not sure where they are from but when i saw these ones, 

with the frayed edges... 

i mean aren't they just too glorious? couldn't resist. 

oh and because "winter" is coming this side of the planet, 

i've started knitting a beanie ;) 

i'm really good at starting knitting projects, 

not sure if i ever finished one though. 

let's this one be the one! 

and i love the pink of the tulip and the pale green of the penny gum leaves together. 

tonight...

tonight is the night of the opening of the group show i am part of... 

it feels so vastly different to my last exhibition, 

i feel pretty calm and here are a few reasons why this might be: 

- it's not a solo exhibition so i don't feel that the spot light will be on me only and that 

feels so much less pressured. 

- this was a quick, impulsive decision, i had 3 weeks from the time i agreed to be part of it

 until the delivery of the paintings. so i had no time to agonise over whether what i had done 

was enough, it just had to happen, without the mind and the gremlins getting too involved. 

- and lastly i had so much fun doing these 8 paintings, i kept rotating them, moving on 

when something didn't work. the movement kept it fresh and interesting for me, 

a bit like dance really, and all that really suits my "busy bee/bit of this bit of that/inquisitive 

personality. 

so all that said, tonight is the night and i'm looking forward to see my mad bunches up on the wall

i also have no idea what to expect... but i will keep reminding myself of  Brené Brown's mantra: 

"don't shrink, don't puff up, just stand your sacred ground."

and i might add: stay open. 

see you on the other side...